Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Why I Don't Go to the Movies

No Movie Theatres for Me

by A.L. Woods, Staff Writer

People always ask me why I don't go to the movies. I made up my mind a long time ago that movie theaters were not for me. I'd like to share some of my reasons with you here today.

People are crazy.

I've seen more news reports of theater shootings, fights, brawls, and just plain foolishness. What is it about a movie theater that makes folks act like plain fools? All you have to do is go in, sit down, watch the movie, eat your popcorn, and then leave. It can't get any more simple than that.

People are discourteous.

It's amazing to me how many people will bring their cell phones into a movie theater and don't turn the ringer off or keep checking it for messages, thereby releasing a distracting glow from the phone that other moviegoers can see. They also kick the back of chairs, waste drink, and talk incessantly. Seven to eight dollars is too much to pay for a ticket and then not be able to watch the movie in peace.

People don't respect your personal space.

How many times have you gone to a movie theater and found a good seat that had the advantage of both being able to see the screen well and being away from the general crowd, and then despite all of the empty seats there are around the theater that one person, and sometimes a whole gang of them, comes and sits either right next to you or all around you.

People are nasty.

I don't understand how some folks made it through life without decent and basic home training. When you finish with your wrappers, cups, and napkins, toss them in the trash. It's not brain surgery. Instead, a lot of folks just toss them on the floor or, even worse, leave them on the seat.

People are nosy.

I'm trying to watch the movie. I don't know you. Why are you asking me questions about my personal business?

People don't know how to drive.

Movie theater parking lots tend to attract those who have only had their driver's licenses for about a week or so (or so it seems). They can't navigate angled parking and certainly can't parallel park. Pedestrians are made for target practice, and cutting other cars off is just the way it's supposed to be.

All these reasons, and more, are why I don't go to movie theaters. You can do what you want, but I'm going to pop my own bowl of popcorn, pour my own soda, and fire up my own Roku, Netflix for tablets, premium cable channel, or DVD and watch free -- or paid -- streaming movies in the privacy of my own home. That way I actually get to enjoy the experience and keep my inner peace.

Source: Personal experience

*Photo: Sarah Ackerman via Flickr

[Originally published on Yahoo! Voices on 05/29/2014 (no longer published there).]